Okay - my friend Megan reminded me that I still need to post about the crazy adventures in San Franciso that happend a few weeks ago. Sorry to all of you for the 3 month cliffhangers! - which also ties into my "life as a reality tv star" story. I guess they're all in the same, so here goes. Sit back, relax, enjoy and be glad this didn't happen to you!
First Story... Starbucks Showdown
So - I go to San Franciso for work to check out some venue sites with a colleague who is pretty high up at my job. I was to be on my best behavior (I always am of course!).
Well, this man lived in San Francisco for awhile and from what I concluded - the people there are just plain RUDE. For instance - I tell this story...
So we're driving around a parking lot at Starbucks looking for a parking spot. The place is packed and finally we see a car backing out. Like any normal person, we stop behind the car, kindly put our blinker on and wait for the car to exit the space. The car does and so and we begin the easy turn into the spot... when out of nowhere! This crazy 17 year old girl and her thug of a boyfriend pull right into the spot! Hello! RUDE! So of course, I assume we'll scowl at them and drive off like any other annoyed parking spot pedestrians... but no! all of a sudden - my co-worker (who is driving) ROLLS DOWN HIS WINDOW (I, in the passenger seat duck down as far as I possibly can... we could get shot!) and says "THANK YOU" the girl yells back in her fake valley girl accent "Whatever, I was driving around looking for a parking spot too and I saw it first. It's not my fault you didn't pull in like fast enough." My co-worker replies "excuse me..." and then the girls boyfriend wanna be a different color than he is with his gold chains and bling up the wazoo buts in and says "dude, you wanna fight - get out your car and we'll do it" ... luckily my co-worker says "ya, ya tough guy... get a life" and drives on. We find another parking spot, I come out from hiding under the glovebox and we make our way into the Starbucks. Unharmed.
Next... my life as a reality TV star... on that one show they have at the airports... you know what I'm talkin' bout?
So it's the end of our little trip on Friday afternoon. We're at the airport, getting ready to get on our 4:45 p.m. United flight back to good old Omaha. My co-worker doesn't check his bags so he's set to go. I of course brought my entire spring wardrobe with 6 pairs of shoes "just in case" , so I had to check my luggage. I get up to the self check-in kiosk, which p.s. why do people have such a hard time using these things? I mean seriously - some act like it's the end of the world that they have to insert their credit card, touch a few buttons, grab their boarding pass and go. They freak out, are determined it's "not working" and demand a desk agent to help them IMMEDIATELY. Those type of people irritate me. Seriously, get with the times and check your own self in. But anyway. I digress.
So, I get up to the check-in kiosk, insert my credit card, punch in my information and the screen flashes back at me in red letters... "Please return on the day of your scheduled flight." What? Hello, stupid machine - it's Friday... I'm here... get me on the plane... I look down at my ticket I purchased through Expedia.com
Let me back up a little bit at this point (I know - the suspense is killing you, isn't it?) , but I have to explain. We're supposed to book all of our travel for work through a travel agency. Well, when I went to book my ticket and it was $1,300.00 through the travel agency and $300.00 through Expedia. Now, I've had some past troubles with Expedia, so I was a little nervous - but I was not about to have the University spend an uncessary $1,000.00 on lil' ole me. So, I did it. I booked my ticket through Expedia... and if you read on, you'll know I paid dearly for this mistake.
So, I look down at my ticket, Flight 452 from San Francisco, California to Omaha, Nebraska leaving at 4:45 p.m. on SUNDAY, April 9. Oh shit. What? Sunday? You mean, Friday, right? Friday at 4:45 p.m? This United flight? Double Shit - Sarah's an Idiot and booked her ticket for the WRONG DAY.
So, I stay calm. I can surely get on this flight... it's just a little mix-up right? So, I stand in line calmly to talk to a United agent to get on the Friday flight and in the meantime, I'll just call up Expedia, explain to them what happened and all will be fine. Good thing for cell phones right?
Well now and here is where the real drama begins... so I'm in line, on the phone and Expedia answers with those damn automated voice deals and asks you all these annoying questions and you have to say yes or no or whatever... right? So, I call and they're asking questions and I answer yes and no accordingly. Well, that dumb voice says to me in it's robotic form "I'm sorry, I cannot hear you. Please repeat Yes or No." So I talk a little louder... well, what do ya know... I get the same damn saying ""I'm sorry, I cannot hear you. Please repeat Yes or No." Holy Hell! So I start YELLING "Yes!" or "NO!" into the phone... now people are staring, laughing, looking at each other with rolled eyes. I start sweating, my hands start shaking and my damn suitcase keeps falling over. Great. I'm falling apart. I calm myself down and finally push "0" for operator at Expedia... as I'm still behind about 15 people in line at the United counter and it's already 4 p.m. I get an operator and before she can help me she says, "may I please have your phone number?" So I give her my phone number and name and she says "no ma'am, that's not your phone number" WHAT THE HELL?! That is too my phone number you bitch! So I rattle off every phone number I possibly have and each time she replies "no ma'am"...oh, I'm so mad I want to say NO MA'AM to her and tell her who's boss! until I finally say my parents home phone number and it goes through. I explain to her my situation and she tells me that she's sorry, but she can't help me... she'll have to transfer me. So, I say okay and she "transfers me." Well, the bitch didn't transfer me... she HANGS UP ON ME! AAAAAAGGGHAHHAHH!!! The frustration! The agony! I HATE EXPEDIA DOT COM!!! I wanted to yell this at the top of my lungs, but instead I mutter to myself like a crazy lady cursing. So, I calmly re-dial the number and hit "0" to begin with to talk to an Operator. This time, I get a man and tell him my correct phone number and information. He then proceeds to tell me "I'm sorry ma'am, but I can't make any changes to your itinerary in less than 6 hours. I can't help you. Thank you" and hangs up. Yah. And the next time someone calls me "MA'AM" at 25 - I'm gonna kill them!
Well, that's fine because now I'm at the counter at United. And is it me, or are people just that much more rude to you when you need help? So, I tell the lady at the counter my ordeal and she looks at me and laughs and says, "that flight is full." Well can I fly standby I ask? She says, no, we have a list about 50 people long. Oookay... can you tell me who else might have a flight out tonight? She tells me that Frontier has a 5:30 p.m. flight to Omaha that has some room on it, I should go there. Well, with it being 4:30 p.m. now, I had better hurry my ass up. So of course, flight counters at the SF International Airport are like MILES apart and in different areas of the freakin' airport...so I take off in a sprint hoping to get on the Frontier flight. Oh, and might I inform you that I am dressed head to toe in full business gear. As in a business suit, shirt, jacket and freakin' HIGH HEELS. So while me and my giant suitcase are racing through the gates (p.s. I always make fun of those people, don't you? I mean seriously - what's their hurry? Okay, so now - I vow never to make fun of those people again. I know what it feels like to be there and it's not a good feeling) While I'm running I think to call that damn travel agency I should have called in the first place... maybe they can help me! I call, they put me on hold and then after 5 minutes they say "We're sorry, we can't help you - you don't have a traveler profile with us." AAAHH! Damn the travel agency!
So - I finally get to the Frontier Airline Counter and while I'm huffing and puffing (note to self: once back in Omaha, get in shape), I finally blurt out what I need and they look at me wierd and tell me that they don't have any flights to Omaha... stupid United lady! So they tell me to try Northwest. Again, I RUN...try there and they just look at me like I'm speaking chinese and tell me that there are no more flights at 5pm to Omaha that night. I finally end up at Delta and they tell me that they have 2 seats left back to Omaha on the 8:05 a.m. flight that next morning. I decide to do it and end up spending $700.00 to buy the ticket. Then, I booked a room at the hotel I stayed at for another $200.00 and took a cab ride back to the hotel for $45.00 which equals using a travel agency = priceless.
So, yes, I learned my lesson thank you very much. But I was prepared - I had extra clothes and got to spend an extra night in San Francicso. I didn't enjoy it though - I had convinced myself that an earthquake was going to hit and it was my time to go. There I was on the 18th floor of the hotel in the middle of downtown San Francisco and there was no way I could escape. But alas - my anxiety just got the best of me. I finally made it home that Saturday... safe and sound.
And then when back at work got a stern talking to about how I need to book all travel through the damn travel agency. So much for saving the University some money, eh?
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